remembering the day 9.11 from jessijewels
i wanted to bring these treasury lists to your attention today as i didn’t think to create one myself until it was much too late. i’m grateful these sellers put together lists of remembrance to share with the rest of us. it’s so tempting to let this day rush by without pausing to remember all we lost 8 years ago. i remember the pure terror that pulsed through every inch of my veins as i watched all those innocent people lose their lives. i was so thankful i was watching with members of my own family. safe. far from any of the real danger that for so many others was inescapable reality. my mind was full of every kind of prayer i could think of. i wanted God to wash the brains of the people who saw, in person, this unspeakable tragedy so they wouldn’t have to go on hurting from the replay of images. i wanted Him to wash my own brain from the censored images i saw. my stomach was twisted tight for weeks, months. i wanted life to just stop. it wasn’t that i didn’t want to stop living, i just wanted to stop living in this fear and i didn’t know how to regain some sense of peace. i poured over the psalms from the bible. i begged God to free me. to free others from this prison. i knew that if i—who lost only the protective covering of my bubble—was so deeply affected, there were others in far greater pain than me. they needed relief, too, but i was helpless. my parents, my youngest brother and i went to atlanta that weekend to see the opening of one of my other brother’s art show. even in that bustling city, the stillness was everywhere—touchable. i was relieved to have a change of scenery, but i couldn’t help looking up at the buildings and expecting them to fall at any moment. at the time, i couldn’t see when i would ever be able to have thoughts of my own again. i did everything i could to escape my brain. i never figured out how. i realize now that i needed to feel that. it was necessary to shape me. God pulled me closer to Him that year. i knew what david meant when he spoke of being under the wing of His protection. for that, i’ll always be grateful. i only pray that those who suffered so much more than i, could feel that peace as well.
